If I see somebody groping you in public, and you're not moaning Yes! Yes! Yes!, I will break through your Somebody Else's Problem invisibility field and come over and ask if you're okay. If your situation looks dangerous enough I can't help on my own, I will call over friends or, if it's a situation in which I think the cops would be on your side, I will call the cops. If you're being harassed by a person, you can say so to me, even if you don't know me. I pledge I will distract them so you can get away, or I will tell them that they need to leave, or whatever I can do to the best of my ability. I pledge that yes, actually, because you are a person I will give you the benefit of the doubt. If you tell me that a person just did something shitty to you I will not refuse to look at any evidence and tell you that I know them and they're a great person and you must have been imagining things. I have great loyalty to my friends but I will not allow that to blind me to the fact that none of us are saints and even my best friends can screw up and may need to be called on it. I pledge that I will walk you to your car if you don't feel safe walking alone at night, and then you can drive me to mine. I pledge that even if I don't know you, if there is a creepy person following you around, you can say so, and I will not say to you go hide in your room; I will say to them go find another party, or if necessary, go home. I will come with you if you need to talk to the con organizers. I will not make you feel like your right to control over your own body is not a big deal.
And I will do this whether or not I like you, or even know you. It's not about liking you. It's about the fact that we need to back each other up, and I will need you to do this for me some day.
ETA: "In addition, I think that YCR members should be proactive, following a "Friends don't let friends be Creepy" policy. More than serving as distractions for Creeps or as back to the Backup as described, we YCR men can look at our friends, and say, "Dude, you're being a dick. Stop it." before things get to the point where the Backup has to intervene. And, if a situation warrants it, we can educate them in the wrongness of said behavior, so that they go forth and be Creepy no more."
There is a post here about the list of things women do every day to "stop" sexual assault. Sorry about the font in this cut!
The post continues and talks about the every day fear most women have. And the ways we try to combat it. I'm not an anxious person and I'm pretty damned confident, but even I have things I do... just in case. And I know that even if I did get attacked, my chances of being believed, or being able to press charges, are slim. I have no faith in the ability of the law to punish offenders. Too many things that happen don't leave enough evidence.
- I check the back seat of any car before I get into it. I do it before I put the kids in, when I am alone, in daylight or in darkness.
- I don't go shopping alone at night.
- I don't go walking alone at night
- I sometimes freak out that I haven't locked the door during a nap
- A strange noise in the house makes me think it's an intruder first, and cats/roof settling second
- I have told Babalon to check up on me if I don't come back from investigating strange noises and msg her again
- I have crossed the road to avoid groups of men
- I have crossed the road to avoid a single man
- I get creeped out when I catch the attention of strangers